There are times in our life where we can’t make much sense of what and why things are happening to us. We feel far from where we think we ought to be, and it is hard to see a way out. Sometimes it feels like we wander in the desert all alone, in a situation that has no real purpose. We think, “It wasn’t supposed to be like that; someone mast of made a mistake”.
But know that these times, of an inner struggle, are leading you to a great triumph, a triumph of your soul and its love over all the darkness you encounter. So find and use the power of will residing inside of you, the power of perseverance to keep moving forward, even if you are not sure where you are going. Have the inner strength, fueled by faith, to stay the course. Remember that nothing is happening by chance-there is a reason (a higher reason) for everything you experience in life. There is something your soul is learning from where, and what you are right now. Once the lesson was learned, conditions would change. So work to change what you don’t like in your life, but still bless it for what it allowed your soul to experience. And as you continue to move forward remember this; the only thing permanent in life is that life always changes.
Keep moving, and keep believing that change is coming to you and to all of us. Some changes take years to be noticeable, others happened in a split second. So have patience, never lose hope, and never lose your faith in yourself, in life, and a specially, never lose faith in God.
God bless you.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
How to Talk to Teens
How I’m going to talk to my kids when they become teenagers is a thought most parents have since the kids were born. They change in front of our eyes, rebel, and become independent, wanting to spend less time with the family and more out with their friends. And if this is not enough, many start to drink, smoke, and experiment with drugs and sex. You remember; you were there a few years back.
But talking is only one component of the relationship you have with your kids. Try to see them as what they really are; children of God you have the privilege to raise, care for and guide as they find their way in the world. In that sense, your soul and theirs are equal, having different roles to play in life. Being aware of it you would raise them respecting who they are, bringing them to respect you and your role as their parent. Having relationship which is based on mutual respect is a key for healthy dialog with teens.
Seeing them as God’s children will also give us the patience and composure needed so much if we are to succeed in our role as parents. Remember that teenage rebellion is a normal part of their growth. We have the experience; they still need to accumulate it. Still, the parent is the mature one in the relationship, so even if they seemed unwilling to listen, make sure they know you are always there for them. It is important to remember that all that God is asking of you is to do your best, and that ultimately how each person ends up is between his or her soul and God.
Nurturing healthy relationships with kids from an early age will help you to survive the turmoil of the teenage rebellion. No one likes to hear orders al the time, and parents who constantly give them (“Because I said so”), will find it harder to deal with teenagers who are much less impressed by threats and punishments. So talk to them, open yourself and when possible explain your reasoning for making a new rule, or setting new restrictions. It is your home and your rule, but a wise leader lets everyone feel included.
You are the pillar of the family, and your kids don’t need you as their best friend. They even don’t need to love you; they need to respect you, and hopefully overtime they will come to admire the role you played in their lives. Hearing her saying, “You are the best parent in the world” because she got what she wanted would make you feel good, but is not a sign of a decision well made. Make what you consider to be the right decision and over time they will learn to respect you for it. Most people grow up to by like their parents, so while guiding them as teens; you are also showing them how to do the right thing as a parent later on.
There are many ways to raise teenagers, and the one you will adapt has a lot to do with how you were raised. Try to remember what worked and what didn’t. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes you parents made, and if useful to you, use those things that worked. And when you feel overwhelmed, it is a good idea to seek professional help. But above all, listen to your inner voice, and seek God’s help. It is where the endless wisdom of the universe is to be found. And we need every bit of it if we to be successful raising teenagers in the 21th century.
But talking is only one component of the relationship you have with your kids. Try to see them as what they really are; children of God you have the privilege to raise, care for and guide as they find their way in the world. In that sense, your soul and theirs are equal, having different roles to play in life. Being aware of it you would raise them respecting who they are, bringing them to respect you and your role as their parent. Having relationship which is based on mutual respect is a key for healthy dialog with teens.
Seeing them as God’s children will also give us the patience and composure needed so much if we are to succeed in our role as parents. Remember that teenage rebellion is a normal part of their growth. We have the experience; they still need to accumulate it. Still, the parent is the mature one in the relationship, so even if they seemed unwilling to listen, make sure they know you are always there for them. It is important to remember that all that God is asking of you is to do your best, and that ultimately how each person ends up is between his or her soul and God.
Nurturing healthy relationships with kids from an early age will help you to survive the turmoil of the teenage rebellion. No one likes to hear orders al the time, and parents who constantly give them (“Because I said so”), will find it harder to deal with teenagers who are much less impressed by threats and punishments. So talk to them, open yourself and when possible explain your reasoning for making a new rule, or setting new restrictions. It is your home and your rule, but a wise leader lets everyone feel included.
You are the pillar of the family, and your kids don’t need you as their best friend. They even don’t need to love you; they need to respect you, and hopefully overtime they will come to admire the role you played in their lives. Hearing her saying, “You are the best parent in the world” because she got what she wanted would make you feel good, but is not a sign of a decision well made. Make what you consider to be the right decision and over time they will learn to respect you for it. Most people grow up to by like their parents, so while guiding them as teens; you are also showing them how to do the right thing as a parent later on.
There are many ways to raise teenagers, and the one you will adapt has a lot to do with how you were raised. Try to remember what worked and what didn’t. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes you parents made, and if useful to you, use those things that worked. And when you feel overwhelmed, it is a good idea to seek professional help. But above all, listen to your inner voice, and seek God’s help. It is where the endless wisdom of the universe is to be found. And we need every bit of it if we to be successful raising teenagers in the 21th century.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Relating to Your Reader
You sit down to write a book when you feel passionate about something, having the desire to share it with others. So writing a book, in part, is the art of building relationships with people you don’t know, and who have no idea you even exist. Well, it’s not that bad, just makes the process a bit more challenging, and in the long run, makes you a better writer.
The process of relating to your readers starts with understanding your audience. After deciding on a targeted audience, ask yourself what do you know about them? For example, you decided to write a self help book for teens (hi, just like me….), what do you know about them? What do their daily activities look like and what motivates them to do or not to do things? What problems do teens face and what make them feel exposed and vulnerable? Once you have a good understanding of the issues, you positioned yourself as someone who can provide good answers.
Based on your understanding of the audience, you will be able to connect on issues that matter to them most. For example, showing you understand the emotional and moral dilemma teens experience when feeling obligated to do something as a result of peer pressure, will build your credibility and help the young readers stay open minded as they continue reading. In general, connecting with readers on the emotional level is a good way of bringing them into the story. You can bring back memories by providing details most readers would find easy to relate to. Most readers will be able to relate to your story when they read about what a teenager feels being in a summer camp and away from home. The images you will create in this part of the story will trigger an emotional memory for most of them. Almost anyone will think, “Oh yeah, I remember….” The period time of uncertainty, being away from the parents but still having a wonderful time with old or new friends can be used to open many emotional doors. If you write a Self Help book, for example, you can use this background to show that the character in the book, despite hesitations at first, was able to experience something new and exciting, and the same is possible for the readers, if they only gave it a chance.
Details bring your story alive; however, sometimes you are better off staying with more general descriptions, so not to lose a large part of the audience. Let’s say you decide to write a book about sport fans and spend too much time focusing on baseball, you might lose readers who like basketball better. Instead, you could describe in details experiences all fans have in comment, such as the excitement driving into the game, entering the stadium and the electricity in the air when the home team enters the field. Everyone who ever went to a ballgame would relate to your story, even if the background is a baseball field and not a basketball court.
Finally, be yourself! Your readers already read books about sport, self help, cooking, or home decorating. And they don’t mind reading another one! Let your creative inner voice lead your writing and find interesting angles to the story. This inner voice is there wanting to express itself for quite some time now. Find it, listen to it, create with it, and the readers will relate to it.
The process of relating to your readers starts with understanding your audience. After deciding on a targeted audience, ask yourself what do you know about them? For example, you decided to write a self help book for teens (hi, just like me….), what do you know about them? What do their daily activities look like and what motivates them to do or not to do things? What problems do teens face and what make them feel exposed and vulnerable? Once you have a good understanding of the issues, you positioned yourself as someone who can provide good answers.
Based on your understanding of the audience, you will be able to connect on issues that matter to them most. For example, showing you understand the emotional and moral dilemma teens experience when feeling obligated to do something as a result of peer pressure, will build your credibility and help the young readers stay open minded as they continue reading. In general, connecting with readers on the emotional level is a good way of bringing them into the story. You can bring back memories by providing details most readers would find easy to relate to. Most readers will be able to relate to your story when they read about what a teenager feels being in a summer camp and away from home. The images you will create in this part of the story will trigger an emotional memory for most of them. Almost anyone will think, “Oh yeah, I remember….” The period time of uncertainty, being away from the parents but still having a wonderful time with old or new friends can be used to open many emotional doors. If you write a Self Help book, for example, you can use this background to show that the character in the book, despite hesitations at first, was able to experience something new and exciting, and the same is possible for the readers, if they only gave it a chance.
Details bring your story alive; however, sometimes you are better off staying with more general descriptions, so not to lose a large part of the audience. Let’s say you decide to write a book about sport fans and spend too much time focusing on baseball, you might lose readers who like basketball better. Instead, you could describe in details experiences all fans have in comment, such as the excitement driving into the game, entering the stadium and the electricity in the air when the home team enters the field. Everyone who ever went to a ballgame would relate to your story, even if the background is a baseball field and not a basketball court.
Finally, be yourself! Your readers already read books about sport, self help, cooking, or home decorating. And they don’t mind reading another one! Let your creative inner voice lead your writing and find interesting angles to the story. This inner voice is there wanting to express itself for quite some time now. Find it, listen to it, create with it, and the readers will relate to it.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Helpful Tips for Writing
It was after seventeen years of studying and practicing spirituality that I decided to write my first book, a short spiritual guide for the road of life. In my head, I had clear sets of thoughts and ideas I wanted to share. However, the first attempt to put them into a book created a stack of papers resembling anything but a well organized book anyone would be interested in reading. It was then that I realized there is much more to writing a book than few good ideas.
Let more than one person edit your book:
You need an editor for grammar and such, but it’s a good idea to let someone with knowledge on the subject matter read it too. When a reviewer would ask me what I meant when I wrote this or that sentence, I would knew I had to do a better job conveying the message because others would ask the same questions. This give and take with people I trusted greatly improved the clarity and quality of my writing.
Know who you are writing for:
Life Is Not a Candy Store started as a spiritual guide for all ages. However, as the project moved forward, reaching teens became the main purpose of the book. It meant I had to go back and change some of the writing. I had to think in terms of what issues teens deal with or are bothered by. I also had to change the examples I used in the book to fit their environment and talk about things such as peer pressure and challenges teens faced in school. Changing the target audience during the writing was the right decision, but a time consuming one too.
Always talk notes when you have new ideas:
Over the years you may have had many inspiring ideas crossing your mind, but for different reasons you let them go. You will do yourself a big favor by starting to write them down as they come to you. Those are the seeds of your writing and the gifts the universe sent you. Always have something you can write with. Later on you will have time to develop it further.
You are the most original part of your book, so show it!
Whatever subject you write on, and whatever story you tell, most likely it was told before in one way or another. What makes your book unique is your prospective, your personality. Be passionate; let the readers see your version of something they heard about before. For example, when you read Life Is Not a Candy Store: It’s the Way to the Candy Store, you will feel that the book was written as a personal journey coming from the heart. It is so because I decided to connect with the readers on that level.
Finally, have fun writing!!!
It takes time and money to publish a book, and it’s not always easy to remember, but going through the process means you are realizing a dream. Look around you, how many people you know are actually doing that? Very few, if any at all. It is of no use at all to be sitting there twenty years from now telling anyone who is willing to listing that once you wrote a book. Live in the present and enjoy the moment!
In a nutshell, one of the main topics in Life Is Not a Candy Store is learning to enjoy life without causing pain to ourselves and others. The book explores the idea of living a joyful life by connecting to a higher power and finding a more meaningful purpose for life. By changing one’s prospective of life; one can walk on the road leading to an emotional and spiritual freedom. Realizing that, you will see that living even a small dream is a step in the right direction.
Let more than one person edit your book:
You need an editor for grammar and such, but it’s a good idea to let someone with knowledge on the subject matter read it too. When a reviewer would ask me what I meant when I wrote this or that sentence, I would knew I had to do a better job conveying the message because others would ask the same questions. This give and take with people I trusted greatly improved the clarity and quality of my writing.
Know who you are writing for:
Life Is Not a Candy Store started as a spiritual guide for all ages. However, as the project moved forward, reaching teens became the main purpose of the book. It meant I had to go back and change some of the writing. I had to think in terms of what issues teens deal with or are bothered by. I also had to change the examples I used in the book to fit their environment and talk about things such as peer pressure and challenges teens faced in school. Changing the target audience during the writing was the right decision, but a time consuming one too.
Always talk notes when you have new ideas:
Over the years you may have had many inspiring ideas crossing your mind, but for different reasons you let them go. You will do yourself a big favor by starting to write them down as they come to you. Those are the seeds of your writing and the gifts the universe sent you. Always have something you can write with. Later on you will have time to develop it further.
You are the most original part of your book, so show it!
Whatever subject you write on, and whatever story you tell, most likely it was told before in one way or another. What makes your book unique is your prospective, your personality. Be passionate; let the readers see your version of something they heard about before. For example, when you read Life Is Not a Candy Store: It’s the Way to the Candy Store, you will feel that the book was written as a personal journey coming from the heart. It is so because I decided to connect with the readers on that level.
Finally, have fun writing!!!
It takes time and money to publish a book, and it’s not always easy to remember, but going through the process means you are realizing a dream. Look around you, how many people you know are actually doing that? Very few, if any at all. It is of no use at all to be sitting there twenty years from now telling anyone who is willing to listing that once you wrote a book. Live in the present and enjoy the moment!
In a nutshell, one of the main topics in Life Is Not a Candy Store is learning to enjoy life without causing pain to ourselves and others. The book explores the idea of living a joyful life by connecting to a higher power and finding a more meaningful purpose for life. By changing one’s prospective of life; one can walk on the road leading to an emotional and spiritual freedom. Realizing that, you will see that living even a small dream is a step in the right direction.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Reviews for Life Is Not a Candy Store
"This book is not only great for teens, to offer them encouragement and build their self-empowerment, but for teachers and parents to help their children along the road to maturity and self-awareness. It is a great book to send off with your child going off to college, or moving out on their own as well! I definitely recommend it as a conversation starting point!" Bless Their Hearts Mom
Author Tal Yanai created a unique and interesting format in this books where he speaks directly to the reader, engages the reader in the discussions, embraces your differences, allows you to self question while helping each of us travel down that road called LIFE! Read the book. Then reread it again. Hear the voice of the author. Listen to God and understand life is much more than instant gratification or feeding off of the pain of others. I love his stories; his examples and I do have a sense of humor that keeps me going.
Fran Lewis
Author Tal Yanai created a unique and interesting format in this books where he speaks directly to the reader, engages the reader in the discussions, embraces your differences, allows you to self question while helping each of us travel down that road called LIFE! Read the book. Then reread it again. Hear the voice of the author. Listen to God and understand life is much more than instant gratification or feeding off of the pain of others. I love his stories; his examples and I do have a sense of humor that keeps me going.
Fran Lewis
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